We won't be on our own. Lots of countries haven't made it. And I'm not just talking about the Andorras and San Marinos of this world, either. They never go to the ball, and they're well used to watching the party from the servants quarters, but countries with motorways and more than one art gallery have also been knocked out, and they're feeling the loss of face just as keenly as we are.
From Group A, Belgium and Serbia miss out after they managed to finish below Poland, Portugal and even Finland. With the exception of Milosevic's presidential palace, Serbia haven't exactly set the world on fire since Holland beat them 6-1 at Euro 2000, back in the days when they were still Yugoslavia. Belgium have now failed to qualify for three tournaments in a row, and this could have been their last chance, as they may well be the sovereign nations of Flanders and Wallonia by the next tournament. Flanders is the Dutch speaking bit, Wallonia the French, and they've not been getting on brilliantly well of late. Finland will also be disappointed, after they'd punched above their weight all the way through. Armenia and Azerbaijan had to cancel their ties for 'security reasons', which roughly translated means their deep seated mutual loathing. UEFA said if they couldn't play together nicely they wouldn't have any points, which made no difference to anything, as they were no competition in the football stakes, although they head the group for tedious ethnic bickering. Despite some strong competition.
In Group B, Scotland are the new Finland and Ukraine (apparently that whole thing with saying the Ukraine is an English affectation, and really annoys them) are the new Belgium. Be honest, now - it was all very romantic and everything, but would you really prefer to have Scotland at Euro 2008 rather than Italy or France?
Groups C and D see Norway and Ireland respectively fall by the wayside, and top losers in Groups F and G are Northern Ireland, Denmark.and Bulgaria. All these countries have history at the top competitions, but we know as well as anyone how little difference that makes.
Meanwhile, on Saturday, Arsenal, Man Utd and Chelsea play Wigan, Bolton and Derby respectively. None of these games will be the mismatch of the week.
Ooh err, you may have upset my Belgian friend - he speaks very good English, and fluent French, but his mother tongue is Flemish... and certainly NOT Dutch! OK, the languages are very similar, but Flemish speakers are very proud to have their OWN language. Luckily, I don't think he's a reader...yet.
And why didn't you mention the other mismatch of the weekend, a tale of two cities, Bristol and Leicester. One flying high in the Championship (admittedly after a bit of a wobble recently), the other yet again under-achieving, having had more managers than goals this season. Come on you Reds!