I may been getting some weirdly high page views, but I'm still in the amateur league compared to some. Well, compared to anyone with any actual income stream at all. In particular, it would be nice to at least have nearly as many digits in my stats as the Guardian.

As things stand, I'm still four digits short. You can see the Guardian website viewer stats for October here. They had 18,407,758 unique visitors in that month. Not unique in the sense that every human being is an incredible one-off miracle, because miracles are of course born out of charlatanry, wishful thinking and tricks of the light, but unique in the sense that 18,407,758 separate IP addresses requested pages. 168,712,972 pages, in fact, at an average of 9.17 pages each. 61% of these users live outside the UK.

What isn't clear from the figures is whether that's 18 million unique readers daily, or across the whole month. In other words, if I visit the Guardian website on the fifth, the seventh and twice on the twelfth, do I count as one reader, or three? Does anyone know?

It's pretty damn good either way. I had 11,893 page views last month. That's 396 a day, without the aid of automatic scanning software. This isn't a bad return for an independent blog with, let's face it, no particular area of expertise, and I've really no grounds to be unhappy, but they get over five million a day. It's almost like they're more important in the greater scheme of things than I am.

Meanwhile, my house sale may be back on. I'm being gazundered, it turns out. This is a tactic in which the buyer tries to lower the previously agreed price just before the sale. This isn't criminal, despite causing its victims more heartache than a joint ever did, but it's considered bad practice. Especially by me. Expect something heartfelt on gazundering soon, but for the moment I shall just note that originally a gazunder was a Victorian chamber pot. I was going to crack on that it was called that because it gaz under the bed, but apparently that's actually true, and I just can't see the point of telling you true things.

The modern usage isn't to do with chamber pots, though, but comes from gazump, which means to do the opposite. Back in the days of the British property boom, when it was a seller's market, prices got pushed up at the last minute instead. To gazunder is to gazump downwards.

I'll keep you posted.

I get about 200 visitors a day in here, and between them they manage 400 page views. It's a nice level of interest, which is slowly rising. The number of page views per visitor goes up and down a lot, with anything between 6 and one and a bit each.

Yesterday I had 197 visitors, which is fairly standard, but they managed 4321 page views between them, at an average of just under 22 each. This is unprecedented. So far today I have had 273 page views from 12 visitors, and we're only an hour in.

I can see two possible explanations. My preferred explanation is that you've all suddenly realised how long I've been brilliant for, and started trawling my back catalog. The other, perhaps more realistic theory is that I'm being scanned in some way. If I suddenly start getting those irritating spam comments, I shall be cross.

Does anyone know anything about this kind of thing?