I may been getting some weirdly high page views, but I'm still in the amateur league compared to some. Well, compared to anyone with any actual income stream at all. In particular, it would be nice to at least have nearly as many digits in my stats as the Guardian.

As things stand, I'm still four digits short. You can see the Guardian website viewer stats for October here. They had 18,407,758 unique visitors in that month. Not unique in the sense that every human being is an incredible one-off miracle, because miracles are of course born out of charlatanry, wishful thinking and tricks of the light, but unique in the sense that 18,407,758 separate IP addresses requested pages. 168,712,972 pages, in fact, at an average of 9.17 pages each. 61% of these users live outside the UK.

What isn't clear from the figures is whether that's 18 million unique readers daily, or across the whole month. In other words, if I visit the Guardian website on the fifth, the seventh and twice on the twelfth, do I count as one reader, or three? Does anyone know?

It's pretty damn good either way. I had 11,893 page views last month. That's 396 a day, without the aid of automatic scanning software. This isn't a bad return for an independent blog with, let's face it, no particular area of expertise, and I've really no grounds to be unhappy, but they get over five million a day. It's almost like they're more important in the greater scheme of things than I am.

Meanwhile, my house sale may be back on. I'm being gazundered, it turns out. This is a tactic in which the buyer tries to lower the previously agreed price just before the sale. This isn't criminal, despite causing its victims more heartache than a joint ever did, but it's considered bad practice. Especially by me. Expect something heartfelt on gazundering soon, but for the moment I shall just note that originally a gazunder was a Victorian chamber pot. I was going to crack on that it was called that because it gaz under the bed, but apparently that's actually true, and I just can't see the point of telling you true things.

The modern usage isn't to do with chamber pots, though, but comes from gazump, which means to do the opposite. Back in the days of the British property boom, when it was a seller's market, prices got pushed up at the last minute instead. To gazunder is to gazump downwards.

I'll keep you posted.